TV Training

I come from Hicksville, B.C. Now before you head for your atlas, or digital equivalent, the town does not exist … in name. But it represents the many small towns nestled between the Coastal and Rocky Mountains, filled with loggers, miners, and hunters. In short, hicks.

So, as a child, I was surrounded by a community of racists and machismos. Each day was a never-ending litany of Ukrainian jokes, racial slurs, and demeaning comments about our fairer sex. I did not know any better at the time, and although I did not often participate in such slander – more likely due to timidity than the moral steadfastness preached by the church – I did not attempt to stop it. I did not see it as ugly or reprehensible, only ordinary.

My family then endured a divorce, and one consequence of this was a transition from a rooted lifestyle to a nomadic existence, which had us sampling the many versions of Hicksville that B.C. had to offer. Ordinarily, I do not recommend such an itinerant upbringing, and I am certain that I suffer many scars from the sheer impermanence of my life at the time. But one positive that it gave me was that it forced me way from the narrow-minded, antisocial delinquents – and likely future wife-beaters and bar-fighting losers.

Since my mother had to work many jobs to keep us afloat, I was left pretty much on my own. So, as I navigated the potentially treacherous waters of adolescence, the only guide that I had was the television. Now, I know the reputation that TV has, and I agree that it is not the best babysitter or friend. But as I look back on that time, I am now discovering that TV had a very positive impact on my worldview.

I read a lot of science fiction and fantasy books where the male was the dominant protagonist and hero, and the woman was weak and helpless, in full need of the male’s protection. This seemed right to me at the time. But then came along “Family Ties”, and I was presented with a father who was more of a nurturer and a mother who was the successful professional, with a strong mind of her own. At first, I recoiled at this concept, and I may have mocked it for being so unrealistic. I figured that only TV could concoct something so unnatural and make it look natural. What was next? A dog that walks on its hind legs and is part of corporate America?

But over time, I came to love that family and I started to really believe the roles that they were playing. The mother was indeed very strong, and it opened my mind to the fact that this could … and really, should … be the case. The father presented me with the possibility that a man could be strong without punching others in the face or carrying a gun. In fact, his strength was in his restraint and in his ability to sacrifice anything for his family.

Over the next 30 years or so, TV stations made it a priority to offer shows that challenged the traditional male/female roles and our views on subjugated groups, whether it be black people or gay people who had come out of the closet. It was not always easy for me, and I felt some resistance within me at times, since I was comfortable in my simple prejudices and my black and white view of the world. But as I moved into the big city and I attended universities, I slowly came to see such perceptions for the frauds that they were and (almost subconsciously) began to adopt the attitudes that were more consistent with a logical, compassionate, and worldly person.

So, thank you, TV. You may have had flaws, but you proved to be a vital part of my social development as I grew up. And I am truly a changed man. I can now watch Wonder Woman and not scoff at the possibility of a kick-ass heroine. I can watch Steel Magnolias and cry unashamedly with the women, knowing that in so doing I am showing a subtle strength and an extra dose of humanity.

I pride myself on being a good husband and father. I have no doubt that my capacity for caring, my motivation for spending quality time with them, and my quiet restraint in times of challenge can be partially attributed to the best TV shows and movies that I have witnessed.

I wonder what’s on next?