Resolutely irresolute

We are freshly into 2023, and it has me thinking about New Year’s Resolutions. What would mine be for this year? After some contemplation, I was a bit surprised by the outcome. In fact, my conclusion had me thinking of the Family Force Five interlude for one of their albums: “You music sounds really good so far. Just keep doing what your doing.”

Just keep doing what I’m doing. Is that a resolution, or the absence of one? In fact, I had to spend a few more minutes trying to unravel the underlying significance of this irresolution.

Upon first glance, this might be seen as a very arrogant statement. Could I be suffering from such egoism as to think that my life could not be improved in any way whatsoever? Is it somehow perfect, and in fact, a life that should be envied by others?

No, not at all. I am fully aware that there are many parts of my life that have me feeling an inner tug to change them. When I watch YouTube videos, I see bikers going to fantastic new destinations and riding the ultimate trails, and I want to be right there with them. When I see bikers like Danny Macaskill and Dangerous Dave doing tricks on their bike, riding along the narrowest of ledges and balancing on the top of rocks, I dream of doing it as well. In fact, I have a bit more time on my hands now that my kids have grown into adults, and it is natural for me to wonder if I am making the best use of it.

So, is my lack of a resolution merely a kind of laziness, an unwillingness to push myself to try new things? I really did suspect that this was true, but upon reflection, I am not seeing it this way. I am not the kind of guy who avoids challenge and change. Right now, I am in the midst of changing the way I teach and assess my classes, even though I have been doing it for 25 years now. That is a hell of a lot of work, and the prospect of doing it didn’t even make me blink. And I am presently pushing myself on the bike, developing the skill of doing a wheely, and after 2 years of doing so, I have come very close to mastering it. I can no longer simply ride down a sidewalk, wasting such a valuable opportunity – so I heave that front tire in the air and see how long I can keep it there.

Then why? Why have I chosen not to have a resolution for this year?

The answer is simple. Despite not being the best of anything – not the best teacher, not the best father, not the best cyclist, not the best mechanic – I am very content with the life I am leading right now. I am waking up each morning excited about what the day will give me, and I am happy with how I am taking life on. I am doing it exactly the way I want to.

And built into that life is a constant struggle to do it the best way I can. I may not be the best at what I do, but I can guarantee that I am trying the best that I can. And there is no more that I can ask of myself.

So I am going to keep on doing what I am doing. I will live with passion, I will pursue the areas that give me the most joy and satisfaction, and I will contribute to society the best way that I know how. May 2023 be the same as it was … just more so.